ahhhhhh 5 oct! anyone wants ta watch it too?... the babehs and glo aint so into it i suppose. ooooh. they're coming. diana degarmo, the huffie puffie and latoya london, jasmine trias. jpl, camile, fantasia barino. $59 bucks. anyone out there? grins.

am i settled down in sch or wht. i'm getting bored in sch. the hours jus pass. lects, e-learning, tutorials. poof, off i go for trg or home. (: at the same time i'm mentally tired. to absorb so much stuff now. seen none of the chemical 'cept for jess when zahidah wanted to donate blood. the Q was darn long.. we've only at 20mins so spare. can wait up for prolly 1/2 or more. gawsh. dint see ken til he said hi to me.
on the way ta class. saw some db guys and johan. how weird it is. we're from the same cca and yet i dont noe their names. and ohh he's familiar, he's in db. *waves hand* the cca's too big? separated btwn guys n gurls. maybe. tuition friend in sec 4. regconised her face but cant rmbr her name. at all. and yet pple does rmbr mine. i shld make a note to rmbr pple's name hurrs. sth that i learnt from pd.
late for pd. reached at 8.20am. at 8.30am she said she's dismissing us very soon. wht the... but well stayed in class till 9.30. did my drawing, chatted withthe 2 kayakers and went thru the rules and regulations. know more stuff bout nyp kayaking? they do run durin sea trg. it's a all-along thang. but only to the bridge?..aft the run on weds, felt and hrd the rubbing of my ribcage. when i did the sit-ups. and todae when i laugh, it hurts. anyone noes anything bout it?..tell me yea. seah cancelled his lect todae. cos he was so damn sick. poor thing. hahas.. my thursdae lesson's jus so free this week. used that time to finish up manual drawing.
wore slips to sch. forgettin i've got stevenn's pract. told him i injured my leg durin trg ytsd. wht craps!.. he was sayin nxt sem he require a doc letter. he act' called my name when he told me. i'm being monitored. darns. hurrs and stevenns i'm nt wishin to see ya nxt sem mans! no way i'm gnna repeat this mod. *yiiikes* left hp at home.. fool.
sean, latheef, sharul, xian liang are jus clowns that make pple laugh hurrs. these clowns were in the lift.. and watched em from the teevee outside the lift. damn clowns. hahs. least my day ended good. blehs. all thanx to em and zahidah. =]
clothes not wash. no red shirt tmr.. sports bra aint dry. fish da weather. baby started pee-ing arnd once agn. are dogs so tempermental?!.. gettin on dad's nerves. and now, i've gotta clean it up. shucks. singapore idol's on ltr.. results tmr. -.- dohhh ive got trg.
aiights outta here to clean the pool of pee

*27 daes*
wish someone could hear my rants. tolerate my whinings. the cuddles and kisses.
seeing couples on the streets jus sets me thinking lots bout it. why isit that everyone in the world has got their the other partner and yet some of us dont?
i dont know myself. it all just aint right. he's not the one? but my day wld become happier when i'm happy or when i'm sad i'd stil be happy when i see him. weird feeling i'm having. and why am i so emo? -.-
needs a cuddle...

*28 daes away from exam*
thanx i've got my 2nd reminder from sch. and a letter sent to dad. i hvnt open my letter box for days cans. urggs. and it's all autocad. i've got MCs and stuff aiights. skipped pathetically one prat only. and came 3 lects and 2 pract?! ballies. jus darn pissed with myself. manns.

rushed thru manual drawing. dont noe how to draw the circles. finishin it up ltr.
swam with the girls, my gawsh. how kuku can my 2 babehs be la huhs. we know it 'mong ourselves. shall shheesh bout it. and they went to fj to eat!... ate apples and found m&ms at the vendin machine. yeaa.. i shldnt have. when i was running i so wanna puke and burp really loud. and sole was aching up. it was fine last sundae.. anyhos, 5/7 rounds. bad. screw it. pool rowing, 100 warm up. 2 sets of 200. 250, 260 and 300. first time joinin the girls for like pool rowing for that long...and it's tiring. at the same time bearin in mind, twist my body, left shoulder fwd, rowin arm str8. pedal was in too deep. ben corrected me. it's all bout concentration.
debrief was long for girls. well least i understand the rules and regulations clearer. *grins* some roleplay's needed. raining and everyone was in diff direction? pouts. ended up jane and darren turned up. wht the.. and all was prepared..lots of chairs and in the end. *roll eyes*
ben kor was havin a bad bad headache. another stubborn one. ran and did everything and said he dont think todae's trg's siong or wht. psychoed. it'd jus worsen it and stuff. but he looks better now. can smoke! -faints-

gnna study!.. like woahhs first time that i'm studyin at home.
i myself question "are you happy now?" if the stress i'm givin myself is good.
well all these thoughts are off, when i . . . -blehs-
smtimes i want to walk in the rain, breakdown and cry. i'm sucha goner.
gone
-----------------------------------------------------
i wish i cld bring this up to u face to face. cos i dont dare. i fear for some conflicts cos i somehow sense it. and the one that hear it wont take it easily. cos i was once in that position.
i'm just simply damn fcukin worried. yay i know before caring and worry bout others ive gotta worry bout my ownself. i'm trying. i'm gnna mug. sighhs. but but buts. all the buts.
*roars* or mayb i should jus shut the hell up. different.

finally i'm done with pd. gnna be that panda eyes ltr..
thanx ni and su listening ta me whinin bout stuff.
gnna slp it off.
-feels the stress

'sometimes when we touch' dad played the LD of it jus now. and it's constantly running thru my mind. teared when i sang..teared when i think of the song. bringing me back to lots of memories. nice ones.
was chattin with jeric. somehow the first time that the conversation jus went on and on. none of us was really bzy or rushing off. after sucha long time. missing that chattery chats. kinda in the same boat. a lil different though. u have to love urself first. before u love others. learn

i dont noe if i'm sad of disappoint ova *it. i'm in no position to nag. so am i suppose to leave it? no.. i shldnt leave *it worsen. i dont noe... help!

finally i got to see gloria todae durin lunch. pract ended early. hong wei passed the phone to her. and she came ova to fj. miss that gurl trillions la. chatted for only 10-15mins. precious moments then. she's got class at 12.
met jess at fj. tapped my shoulder from the back. blehs miss tt sista loads la. dont even get to see her arnd in sch.
aft sch met su to pass her sth. and she acc me ta goldenhill plaza to give the survey form. went to united sq to get some stuff. and ended up eating minimelts and old change kee. -sinful- sat outside the food court and enjoyed the food. mmms. shared some stuff with her. me-&-her. laughed. -smiles inside-

aud's bdae chalet on 8oct. there's jus so many pple's bdae comin up la huhs. del, dad, brud john, nini, mom, coussie, aud, brud ben, adrian. prolly go down aft trg for awhile or whts. gotta study on sat.

had a bad headache durin math lect. confused..aint absorbing. gnna finish up my pd proj. and sketchin of pcq proj -_- urgggs. drawing. and manual drawing. -puffs.
am i crazy or whts. everyday i'm jus lookin forward to trgs and swim. and meetin chemical and babehs. other that, wht's sch life? studyin better be part of it.

who am i? moodless. lost. mind idles off.

to someone: ohhh u bitch. get ur friggin minds off my friend. ure another one of them arent ya. just gettin on my nerves. try gettin all my gfs if u can. for goodness sake. it's jus all adding on and piling up. if i do hate u. u bring it upon urself. if the whole world does. u deserve it. a pathetic leading life. get ur arse on and study. agn i'm sayin this. better go to some corner and face the wall. screw it.

train and swim. train and swim.
later

i'm stil not gettin over it. it's just constantly on my mind. it's stupid i know. *ponders* i'd jus daydream. nth made me smile. nth. jus a lil delighted to see my bruds. but ben's not attendin some lesson. -meowss- no ideas la huhs. went macs to finsh up my proj due todae. fixed up the switch and that flat batt. it went ding dong. stoned at macs to wait for jess. but i dint get to meet her. del was rushin his ding dong bell. last min work. was gettin a lil impatient. cos the longer i sat there the more stuff i think of. want to get into the pool and swim swim swim.
bruds went to support adrain in his hockey match. saw him from a distance. and lightened up my mood a lil. blehs. nth much but yes. i'm happy for tt while. wasnt feelin really happy either.
did 200m warmup. 200m freestyle and breastroke pull. 200m of free and breast kick. 400 swim aft. many atimes when i'm swimming. tears formed in the eyes. but it jus aint coming out. and went further. nt gnna cry over it. yups. the guys were trg too. and justin asked me if i joined db. desmond was so shocked. justin said that i swam faster than before eh? hehs. and the guys commented that i'm fit. then dipped my body into the water. jus so embarrassed when pple say that i grow bigger or whteva. madness fool said that every trg we do weights. lols. we row boy. we row. swimmers shld do some weights too. think it'd help. the pull wld be so much easier. andy's gnna conduct some physical exercise soon i guess. i'm all for it. ahems. i'm prepared. (:
left the swimmers. dint wanna join em. wanted to be left alone for a lil while. met up with brudders. and the damn handsome was so damn dressed up. jus luffed when i saw him at the back gate. brudder jus so damn handsome la. whteva that brudders crapped at 'ap' bout tao ni-soya bean milk- the guys were laughin their heads off. but i was jus so not entertained by em. why why why?! prolly they were lame. ben was telling me bout the chalet and stuff. it just all depends on my results then. nth seems to brighten me up. exams exams. gnna trigger with photoshop or autocad ltr for some proj. the muggin shall start.

dont know if i'm happy right now. now. blehs. think i am. yea i am. but the fact's right there. booohoooos. ballies
i'm disappointed over sth. quite.

darling babeh: gurlo, why do u feel distant away from us? why? it shldnt be happening. wht bout my life's that's happenin? other than trgs. nth much bout my life's happenin or wht. people live and they die yesh. but when they time comes. u will die. right now, ure being loved by many. duncha think of dyin yays. u mean lots to me babeh. days are so bitter when i dont get to see ya. )= get those thoughts off ur mind missy.

-been 2 weeks that i've sat down and chat with glo. -pouts
-gained 4kg..scary -poutie pouts

hope this wed we both wld make time for each other. off ta do my proj.
out

a drastic change of mood. read sth. i'm down. pondering ova it. told myself i'm nt gnna go into or further to it. then why am i feelin like this? noooo...
blame on that itchy hands of mine. sighhs.

gurls at da bbq wit ben (:
-click the pic for a bigger image-
-----------------------------------
-sat
suppose ta mug and swim. ended up slpin at hm aft piano lesson. pang chek alr. cant take it. meet the 2 babehs late. sorriee!! went to market place to look for munheng. kinda miss her. jus hope sch cld do sth to help her. so wasted to give up studies jus like that. had ondo for dinner. it's jus so niceee... first time that i'm so damn full.. left one ebiko. goin arnd orchard plaza lookin for the eyebrown threading. and yet it's close or wht. lil india gurls!...chill at cartel. had ice cream! how sinful... ben said ure wht u eat. pouts.
went home with su on 162. and some girl cld jus litter a big plastic bag right in front of us and move seat la huhs. as if we're blinded. took her rubbish and kicked it to her seat. damnns. so pissed. inconsiderate. and wht.. ate on the bus and it smelled of bbq chicken cans. biatch

-sun
mmms, wel trg was well. on the way to kssc. there's a half marathon goin on. we were sorta goin against the whole grp of pple. the stares me and jane has got. -_- maybe army guys are so deprive hurrs. hello~! to think that u all are from army. pple were strolling in a marathon. first time eva i've seen pple walking.
db gurls running. had to run with the whole grp of the marathoners as they were takin the route where we ran. and we overshot lots of em. but where snaking everywhere. and woahs, pple hvnt seen dragonboaters and nyp and gurls before?!.. ran past pple. they'd go..woahs dragon boat. woahhs nyp! and how the guys stare at us when we're running.. gawsh. was pantin kinda hard 3/4 thru. slow jogged back.
the warm up was shits for me. yesh there's really a need for warm up. side muscle was aching like fish. so wanna stop. stil i went on. cldnt seem to get my sittin position right at first.. slided off when i stretch out.. thrice aiights. urgggs. ben was right behind me rowing -_- dang. for this sea trg i'm tryin ta get my rowin arm str8. when it's str8 i recover my stroke faster ehs. agn, dint get to row in the baby boat. wht daph said is very true. once ure in the boat u must the might to go on all the way for it. pouts. train hard gurl.
aft trg went ta nini's place..mee siam was so nice la huhs. thanxx sista. we were jus talkin bout lotsa stuff!...laughed and food jus come out drinks. yucks. took a bus to yishun to meet up with the db gurls to ben's place. slept on the bus. feel the ache all ova.
the bbq was great. food was so yummie.. mashmallows was even yummilicious. *slurps* laugh til i've got cramp. hahas had lotsa fun la. mmms, and ben smiled a couple of times. it's no big deal that pple smile. yeaas, but comin from ben it aint easy. gurls can go and buy 4D hurrs. saw his polylife, dragoanboating life, honeymoon and wedding pics. omgg it's so damnn nice. wanna take wed pics. go JB..sceneries so nice...
aiights outta here. i'm so damn tired... bathe and slp. meows!

-da chemical bonds-

even thou i've know em for a mth plus or so. the bond's building up. lotsa girls talk. (: nini and i were bitchin bout sth. talkin bout lotsa stuff.

sista ni, i'm loving you more and more each day. like u said thou weve only known each other not long. we share the swt secret gossips. blehs. and when ure in doubt and troubled with *u noe wht*. i can help. by telling u lots of stuff. psychoed. and yups, the feelings wld soon be gone.. and another sorta feeling wld then grow. muahahhas. tt's evil but wel. tt's the treatment one wld get when ure not worth loving. ure one great sis, friend, darling..u name it. dont u think of urself the way u do. cos u mean lots to me. meeows ilu nini!

da chemical bond. bonding pple. and yea tt's chem. miss it.

realised i've been bloggin far too often. jus so many stuff to rant bout. dont usually tell my parents or bro anything so yups. that explains.

it's a happy happy dae for me ytsd. (:

swam 20laps in 1/2hr. lousy timing. stil it's 20..yea

fun makin fun of ben. was so in the mood mans. esp aft wht i hrd. -burst in laughters- opps. yaya and he'd go, "i'm so gnna kick ur butt." *sticks out tongue*

class was havoc durin tutorial. funneh. however latheef was so occupied with his own thoughts. spoke to him aft sch. he felt lost. that was wht happened the past few days i guess. be it in relationship and life or whteva. i feel lost at times. and there's alwys this low time for everyone. uve got high and low and it'd balance out. if one's alwys low or alwys high. tt's nono thingy.

met jessie and shell aft sch for a lil while. and shell gave me choco -timeout-! tt girl's so swt la huhs. blehs. met su at fj.. she gave me the biscuit. yes i shld be dieting.. but well. i'm workin it out. met sam and mel in the toilet near db room. and mel gave me two balls of maltersers. to balance em up righhhts. blehs. trg was so gnna start then.. it stil went into my stomach.

went to the pool with jane and nini. sat down and chat.. while waitin for trg to start. those two jus fill me in with lots of their stuff and experience la huhs. sharing y'noe pple. and it's girls talk anws. no secrets.

for the first time in running, i managed to control my breathin so damn well that i wasnt pantin hard aft the run. 1 round the track, 3 rounds the carpark area. *evil luffs* as usual perspiring like hell. was shakin off the perspiration aft. did gym. there's blister comin out. kinda gettin freakie bout it.. rough ugly palms. shucks. muscles are toning but.. pouts i dont noe how to put it. i dont want to have the arm of guys. yesh. ewww.
this is the first time in my 3rd land trg [?] that ben da coach was down for trg. his debrief speaks all problems and stuff. btwn ben and us..generation gap. 3yrs that he's in sp.. he only study for one mth b4 the exams?! cool... and u get into poly not jus to study pple. is also to have fun and enjoy.. i totally agree. grins. rules are rules. but rules are meant to be broken. rules cant be broken. but it can be bend. i find that funny. some find it lame. but i like~ and ben SMILED. u showed his damnn white teeth and SMILED. he never did. even when he said sth funny he dont even laugh. hahas! wooohooos. i ask myself. how much do i want it. how hungry am i. db peeps wld noe wht i mean. and yes. fish i'm hungry for it. lots. 2 weeks of db. it's impossible to fly high. in these trgs...and fcuk selection has started. sobbs. the rules and regulation to memorise. ahh fish. run run run, row row row. *winks* girl i'd better give my might this sunday trg.
did i mention that jo's a psycho. yes she's one. using the misleadin quotes she's got. "the pain would be leaving my body" madness. guess pple in db can be quite psychotic aft. cos u force urself to go whts beyond ur limit. jus like think out of the box. if you can make it in dragonboat, you can make it to army. muahahhas. nutcase.

dinner was only 6 peeps. 3 guys, jo, jazz and me. but well, to keep jo awaked she told us lotsa stuff she does la huhs. oh my gawsh. jo jo jo. hahahs.. smtimes i cant get enuff of her. i lovve her so la huhs. opps. ahh.. heck jo if u read this.. yes i lovee u!.. she's so farnie when she does weights. when the pain hurts.. so jus goes lalala.. and dancing. awww!

piano lesson in the morning. a swim in sch after. wanna get a bloody tan. tanner.. hahas. meetin the 2 babehs aft.. prolly do some girlie stuff. get my sports bra some other dae. i'm so broke. darren's havin some bbq thingy.. cousin has got dinner at her place. cant make it.. cos it's some time for my 2 babehs. imagine.. bbq and nxt dae trg. the stuff one intake. that's way too sinful! anyhos, jus hope my happy mood stays. off to bed pretteh soon. mom stil aint givin money for transport!!! damnns. i'd jus prolly end up walkin from places to places la. urgggs.
i'm one happy gurl. (: later

in sch's pract lab. urrgg. and we're here doin nth. supposedly some cms stuff which was alr done last week. so everyone's jus doing their own stuff and surfing net. sch had also blocked out happytreefriends?! wtf. doing my cms.. gotta do my stuff. toodles.

woohoos. leslie kwok. -it's gettin hot in here-
---------------------------------------------
chihuahua!... blehs. am uber tired right now. did some cms. and went thru digi.f tutorial.
lesson starts at 9am ltr. ltr than usual. have gt 3hrs break. gnna head down j8 to get lunch. and back to sch ta swim. dumb. but yea for some reasons. gotta do that. first time in a thousand yrs that ive got 3 hrs break. excited la. seah cancelled the lect since he's revisin it thru only nxt week. and he had finished teachin almost everything. =s that shows hw near exams are.
yap's tut. ltr.. complex no. or dont noe wht.. some chiemlogy thingy which i cant rmbr wht isit call. it's jus at the back of mua brainee yea. cant take it. gnna turn in.
later

thanx to zahidah, ben kor, daryl, nini and my dearest gfs.
broke down aft the autocad class aft doing e test. wang shuang who usually doesnt attend practicals cld work out most of the dimensions and yet i cant?! damns. jus cant control my emotions then.. i shld have. oh darn fool. lovee dah. and ben kor. no words can describe that feeling. thanx for the huggs. -tite huggs-

"watevas on ur mind, just pour them all out alright..cuz nini will alwayz be by ur side to make things right says:" awww, isnt my sista swt!? blehs. aft reading her nick i jus smiled. i did. (: thanx ni. she's alwys there for everyone. comfort and all. ilu.

cancelled piano aft sch. wenta the field to watch daryl run his trial 2.4.. 10.02mins. woahhs. ben and i were cheerin from him yea! he wanted to achieve 9mins. but slowed down at the last lap or so. but 10.02mins is fast!!.. really than ben kor for being there.. talking and eating macs with me. he ate 10 frenchfries. how sinful macs is. damns. i have to eat for some reason. talked.laughed. also bout *her. dammns, i envy em la.
aft daryl's run. wenta the gym.. did some weights.. and whteva u call that thingy. lifted half of my weight and 38.6kg. woohoo steady pom pipi la huhs. but but but. 38.6 is wit daryl's help. blehs. i stil did 10 aiights. wanted to exert anger in running and incline. however wasnt in right attire. incline was occupied. damnns. anyhos, m feelin better.
gnna meet the girls this sat. wheees. am pretteh broke. suckie when ure damn broke and there's like 27653's pple's bdae coming up. balls. booos.
aiight outta here gnna take a bathe and rest. sg idol [unsung hero] then study.

darl' glo- yups i noe. the msg u sent is stil in my inbox. a reminder for myself. and that prolly one of the reason that why i'm so upset with myself. trg's nt the reason. trg's deff not gnna affect my studies babe. any spare time now.. it's down to books. sighhs. sem's ending. one gd thing. (: thanx gurl. loveee u.

8am lesson ltr. gnna turn in soon. been waking up really late.. like 1/2 b4 lesson starts these 2 daes. urgggs. waste of cabbie fee. shall skip lunch tmr or whts, go do more inclined. hvnt recover from the mood of math results. and a c for digi.f and d for circuit analysis. stil i failed my math. friggin moodless. felt worse when i saw the change of look on ben's face. not too good.
so nt in the right mood to train. breathin techniques was crap. gone aft 3 rounds. fool. am jus uber upset with myself. cant even cont' running. screwed. 110 sit ups and push ups.
durin that min break in btwn sit ups. jus by starin into the clear blue-ish sky. part of me fill so empty and yet another.. lotsa thoughts jus came in. my papers, running, ben kor. breaking inside. [eyes shut] study study study and train. gues there isnt much time to play til aft exams. lesson learnt. gnna head back to sch for a swim and study aft that.
needta study.swim.run. want that nike sports bra!!!..prolly gnna get it this week.
selection has started. wld i be one of the 10 of em? another thing that's stressin me up. wld i? wld i? urgggggggggggggggs. ballies!! i want to. everyone wants to be that one of the 10. asking myself agn. wld i?!
*cries* i dont noe if i'm happy or sad. only time i'm in da mood was when i met cp and during dinner time. i dont know either. i feel shit everytime i see someone pondering over stuff. and yet, i cant do anything bout it. not a single thing. that feeling friggin hell sucks. i noe it yet i can do nth. if only verbal consolation helps. but to me.. it doesnt.
gnna eat agn. eatin lots. and i dont think i really give a damn on wht i eat right now. gnna stop all these junkie soon.
later.

Her feelings she hides.

Her dreams she can't find.

She's losing her mind.

She's fallen behind.

She can't find her place.

She's losing her faith.

She's fallen from grace

She's all over the place.

Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside

She's lost inside, lost inside

music playin': phantom planet- california
missing that song lots. when the OC starts (: miss watchin it. and season 2's coming up in nov! woots! cant wait for it...then agn. it's pirating time. -grins.

sch starts at 1010am. i woke up at 1140am. started cursing and swearing. it jus came out. dint even hear the darn alarm clock ringing. phone wasnt charged at all. music on lappie was stil on, enjoying too much music. rushed down to sch before lect start. missed the e-lap.
when i step out of my place ben called. started naggin at me. told me my math results. sighs. aft wht i hrd day was totally ruined. so not in the mood for the whole damn day. times that i really smiled was when i disturbs ben, with the bruds and nini. i met su at the atrium [overjoyed; as if i saw someone i've got a crush on?! blehs..]. when i met nic at macs and took a pic wit her. other than that i'm so not in the mood today. just felt like cryin during lect. lowered my head and shut my eyes. i'm feelin the stress and all. whteva mr tan was talkin hasnt got into my brain. *ballies*
giving sat a miss. tanning with the bruds and sis. part of me wants to go tan too. with ching and the girls. sighhs. tt cld wait. use up the time to study. pouts.
ever since i joined db. i hvnt eat macs or kfc.. fastfood in a way. today's my first. but like who cares. jus wanna feel that tummy of mine. friggin' not in a mood to care bout anything. i've gotta eat macs and kfc this week for some food survey thing. soo wooohooos. the junkie adds on.
trg tmr. gnna do gym. hrd from ni that they're addin 5 on each side?! -faints-
havin a bad headache. head's spinning. wanna swim and run like right now. the thoughts wld all be gone. urgggg. math math math!!!...

smtimes i imagine watchin him. the emotions when he does it. by listening itself, makes me feel soother and calm. when wld i get to see it?...sighhs
out.

nisa: hey girl!!!..aiights i now u dropped by. nutssie. leave ur bloggie or wht yea. miss u gurlo. the few mths in sch. i've only met u once. damnns. love u... ((:

boooya! am stil awake. thou my eyelids so wanna close. doin math tutorials on integration. boring shits. but dr lim said.. it takes lots of pract for it. so yea.. i am doing it.
but somehow it brings me back to ivp last sat. the hot bods. muahahas. best thing is to check out the smu, ntu, nus guys bods. lim yaoxiang from nus. mark tan, calvin, leonard -the guy that started first, hahas- but well. there's another one from nus or dont noe which poly too? nice clean legs. aiights.. wht has math got into me and thinking bout all these?! blehs.
everyone's turnin in... nini's on the phone. hahs.. gettin back to my work. boringg

back in steven's lect. like aft so many times of skipping it. one cld simply stone there. but ive gotta learn how to draw the diagrams. similar to d&t but it's more chiemalogy.

jess's bdae last sat was aiights. we were bored that we started entertainin ourselves by takin pics and by gg down to the playgrnd and played this merry-go-round like thingy where u actually sit and cycle round the track. at first it was me, ni, jane that saw it. called the chemical bruds down. and jus nice.. 6 seats for em. sweat the hell out aft. and some jus laid on th grnd. -due to the giddyness- fun (: jane, darren and i dint join em for the clubbin session aft. wasnt in much mood to club esp aft the ivp. i was dozing off while waitin for ben and daryl at the train station. headed down to town to meet cp n su. great to meet up both of em. aft sucha long time.
slept only at 2.30am. friggin tired when i'm awake.. rushed off.
and cabbed down to kssc when i reached kallang. if i were to walk, i'm sure gnna be late. ran from the bridge to another expressway. dint stop. hwever, sea trg dint go quite well. aft the run and nt enuff slp.. rowed like a fool. kept knockin into mike's pedal. lame damn excuses. more effort cld be put in. wld i even be able to get to row in the baby boat? =( -demoralised- debrief was so serious.. jo was fumming mad. everyone's gotta be down for trg on weds. crossin my fingers that we wont get screwed. even if we are. i'd better hang in there.
got hm at 5++pm on sun. and slept from 8am till 10am this morn'. which means 14hrs of slp. (:
saturday's nt a day to play hard. gotta get nuff rest..to prepare for trg the nxt dae.

ben was so stoney today. from the moment he joined the class i cld feel sth aint right? thru out the whole dae. jus by lookin at him..feels the ache too that my brud's feeling that way and yet i can do nth bout it? sighhs. by seeing some couples that are so swt and stuff. makes me envy. but lookin at many others. makes me scared. mayb jus by liking in the sense of infatuation is enuff for me i guess. shucks i dont noe.
aft sch went for self trg in the pool. the guys were all so on? all came for self trg. most were wearin the swim team shirt. -grins- did 200m warm up. pulls, kicks, swim. dont know why i'm happy enuff to see the guys are tgt and enjoyin the trg emselves. and they're more motivated aft ivp? lols. nini was in the pool too. kinda slack a lil cos was chattin wit her. blehs. waited for the bruds to swim. ended up only mike swam. -_-
and nini was tellin me sth aft the swim. hahs. but guess that wld nv happen. there's alwys girls.. gees. ni noes wht i'm talkin bout. =x
hrd bout sth and am really wantin to noe whts the reason behind it. met up wit the guys.. went outta sch. while nini, mike, ben,daryl and del went to AA to eat.. i went home. not convenient, and also gnna spend some time at home.
i hate dressing up these daes. jus wanna go sch in shorts, shirt.. inside? sports bra. i needta get moreee of it.. da nike pink one. -smiles-

everything seems to be so obvious right now. i so wanna noe the reason of it. so so damn distant. but do i look like i care?! no i dont. i'm hardly to even be bothered to talk. even when i'm walking alone. i feel better that way. smtimes it jus makes me wonder... sighhs i dont noe. shant care so much.

alrights. wanted to add ray's link in. turned out that my whole template jus disappeared aft saving. damnns. redid it. and i cant get my black bg back! the words are stil black aft changin. pouts. white works fine for me... purity. mmms, jus a lil too bright. changed song too.
am done. time to bed. shal pack tmr ltr..

pack for traing
laundries

-add on-

sometimes one's jus gotta watch wht ure talking. and who are the pple arnd. saw kok fei at the pathway. seeing me takin my traing stuff. he thought ive got swimming. well no. it's db. and he happily asked me to quit db. prolly he dint noe.. ben's from db. someone who's so devoted and in love with it. fancifully askin me to quit. my reply was "no....". stil he's blacklisted.. prays hard he wont get into further trouble. was quite moody. the perspective of how the guys sees it. i've got no control over. he'd better shut his mouth up nxt time.
i'm loving db and swimming now.
i'd too start studyin.. i'll. startin nxt mon! ;]
out.

13hrs to 1st event of swimmin ivp. i'm so excited and nervous for the guys!!!! oohhhh man. =s

lessons was alright ytsd. dozing off durin seah's lect. ben was alr aslp. lols. seah jus kept calling his name.. linking to whteva he was teaching. that moment i was suddenly awake. blehs.
went to bugis with ben to meet his friend to take 'sth'. shld have jus let him go alone if i know wht it was, and i'd slp in sch. i went anyhos not knowing wht was it.
meet su for a drink. to chil. since we both had our lunch. seriously i'm missing my babeh, gloria and cp. sighhhs.

was a few mins late for traing. others were chattin down there. chop-chop changed and ran up. quite happy with myself. hurrs. despite me havin my gastric prob, i was able to finish the run with e girls. like the first time!? wooohoos (: 2 rounds the track, from stadium to south canteen blk, back [lvl 3], hockey pitch, stadium to south canteen [lvl 2] and back. wooohooos. controlled my breathing. which i usually dont. breath thru nose. 200 push ups and 80 sit ups. say gd bye to the flabby arms and tummy babes! did rowing. mmms, stil gotta work on the techniques and not cycle my arms. no using non rowing arm to push. jazz was teaching me one-to-one.. she roxx. her rowing techniques so gd. she was tryin her best to teach me. bear the pts in mind. thanxxx jazz! and also jo remindin me bout non rowin arm and my shoulder when i pull back. i've gotta watch wht i eat. isit healthy to eat aft traing... and when i'm back home to eat agn? urgggs. is that alot?! pouts.
blehs sat and sun's packed.
sat: swimming ivp.dinner with team[nt confirm].jess's bdae party.slpova at cp's.
sun: db sea traing. ((:
gnna wash the clothes by todae.. hopefully dry by tmr. lotsa things to pack up.
we've gotta run this sun. darnns on the road. aint gd for kness yea. rmbred wht mr goh told us. but well gnna heck. (: train hard. for the race.
sth that jo shared with us b4 debriefing:
-Use training sessions as an opportunity to try racing outside your capacity. Make an effort to occasionally "blow" out completely.
-The game is scheduled; I have to play, so I might as well win.
-If you give only 90% in trg then you will only give 90% when it matters.Other things that i said:-There is no glory in practice, but without practice, there is no glory..
body's gnna ache.. ouchhh. later.

am doing some labwork quizzie. stuck at the last ques. dint even study for it. anyohows tikam. ooo... i'm slpy. lesson starts at 9 and i tot it's at 8am. thank god brudder called me jus b4 i stepped outta my hse. -phews. lalalas..meetin su for lunch ltr. ciaos. outta here!

on mc. had gastric pain early in the morning. cldnt even stand up straight.
wanted to go back sch for seah's lect and steven's lab. raining so heavily that i'm stuck in the clinic. doc was sayin it's prob gastric prob. as yrs goes by, u get more n more illness isnt it. cldnt drink milk. gotta eat less than usual. not to the extend of really full. not to drink too much water. jus a sip wil do. 2/3 med causes drowsiness. pouts. feeling the pain agn. it comes and go. was waitin for the rain to stop at the cafe nxt to the clinic. had my lunch there. ka-li-pop cafe. the curry puff's yummi. sat there alone for bout 40mins. thinking thru some stuff at the same time.
decided to go home.. was drenched. slow walk under the rain. chilly and shivery. numbed.
cancelled my piano lesson. gnna prac it ltr anyhos.
numbed.
who am i

When I need you

I just close my eyes and I’m with you

And all that I so want to give you

It’s only a heartbeat away

When I need love

I hold out my hand

And I touch love

I never knew there was so much love

Keeping me warm night and day

woots! i'm stil up. last two diagram to finish up the autocad drawing. eyes are goin kuku.
-weds-
was realllly tired that i kept yawning during the journey to sch. i got my ding dong bell workin!! wooohoos. but but but, i forgot that i left my push button in another pencil case. cant hand up the proj ytsd. uuurgs. was i a joker durin tt lesson or wht. tongue-tied and so blur. i'm stil not awake yay. aft was yap mc's lect. it's an 2hr lect.. slept thru 1.5hrs of it. i was realllly tired cant tahan. jus layed down and knocked off.gotta do some self studyin using cms. cos wht he taught durin lect is all in there. no ideas why is e lect so draggy for that day. it nv really was. time was crawling. supposed to meet glo. she dint wanna come south canteen. so it was off. pouts. lunch with ben and zahidah. mmms, found out some stuff. but it's sth i'd least likely wanna noe. damns. those two were laughin their hearts out. so am i? a lil. but it isnt funny yea. hurr hurr.

was at the atrium while waitin for the brudders to meet up n stuff. saw glo at the escalator and that girl's too sadded or wht. ran over said hi wanted to hug her and she went down the escalator. pouts. no comments. went off for swimming traing aft. i'm seriously missing swimming traing. everyone was traing for ivp 'cept me. but wells, traing for the nxt yr's. *blehs* did plungin [not on board for me] and lotsa 100 sets. shiokedecious! swimming in the rain. it's aft so long that i train and swam with pace. leisurely myself. i dont push myself hard as i do for traings.
followed by db traing aft. i was 1/4 sadded alr. but i managed to improve in running yea. ran 4 the prev and this time round i managed to run 6. thou i stil stopped. kinda hate it when ive gotta stop to really breathe. i've got difficulty breathing...controlled it while running. but stil..sighs. push ups and sit ups as usual. pespiration was dripping.. droplets. cld shake like a dog mans. did weights aft. like my first time and all. doin that thingy in the gym room, jazz was my partner. she's like so nice yup! (: totally shagged aft the gym. shakey hands and all. dinner was great. good good laugh and jonathan burps really loud. -thunder- my gawdd. grossed out. i dont burp e way he does. thank god.

am gnna finish up my work.. and bed soon. cant b bothered with packin my stuff for lesson. pd early in the morning. report not done. fcukit hate this elective module the most. moreover it isnt core! urggggs. it & she's gettin on my nerves. whteva, back to my work and to my lala land.

awww i'm feeling over the moon. -grins from ear ta ear- on the other hand i'm kinda moodless due to sth. shrugs. i dont noe. it's a fact and it's there. just dont look it that way? i'm escaping from it. stil.. over da moon. =D

cldnt slp thru out the whole night. i'm waking up every 2 hrs. am so tired thru out the whole day. lectures and lectures. yawnns. integration and all. seriously putting me to slp. thank god he gave us a short break.
had lunch at fj with za, ben, mike, daryl. dont noe where was i looking. but i dont seem to notice this girl in red til my brud told me is my friend. chia suli was in red! she's so reddish today. like red gio top, red book. my goodnes. cant help but laughed. was so excited and glad to see her that i sorta ran over. -grins. miss that girl so.
aft sch, waited for ben and del to finish their autocad drawing. i had 6 nuggets and a pack or soyabean. damnns. i shld be watchin my diet. and yet... =] su ended her class early and she accompanied me for the yamaha interview. got a winnie e pooh wrapper for jess too.

wht i can sae is whteva. not gnna bother..if not it's nt gonna easy for all. if i've got hard feelings to it, lotsa things wont work out. lots. dont assume and sae things that i dont even do. dont even talk bout it. fcuk -shrugs* i shant bother. i've got better things to do. proj due tmr, autcad drawing. which dont even noe if steven wld accept our work.
sths fumming up inside me and i wanna swim!!!!!!! darmit.
have u hrd of one is enough ?!?!

-monday-
piano exam was aiight. way nervous and shakey. wht's more when he's an ang moh. smiled only a lil. the room was sooo darn cold.. the direction of it was towards the piano. darn. but well the examiner prolly cldnt take the warm weather and stuff. i wont say i did well. but jus slight aiight. prolly cld have done better if i've been practising. but i dint. i question myself at the end of the day. why isit that everyone, including me does last min chiongin? even for ivp. they're startin to train hard this week. when ivp's on sat. studies.. doing a few days and the night before.
gave jun her pressie aft she got thrown in the pool. hahs. wet. thank god she was wearin swimsuit. all else it's gnna be how see thru. =x
swim meet was aiight. dyan came in forth in 1500m and ash last place in 800m free. some proud gurl swimmer from nus. victoria B-dont noe wht. hahas.. nini shld jus crap her time when she asked. heys but the nus, ntu, smu swimmers are wooohoos. nice legs nice bod. wel aint as gd as the dragonboaters but yea.. they look nice. and this nus act' took out his trunks at the spectator stand. with a towel covering.. but mich and dyan's gf saw 'it' omgg.. once he took out his trunks i turn back to the pool. i'm not such perverter to stare.. but he's got built boobies. can compete with brudder mike. hurrs.
had a drink at AP. was totally showing attitude to that "xiao jie" -yikes- stoned there and waitin for us to drink.. and not telling us how much. using a f*rked up tone and asked hw much isit. and jus push the money aside. luffed and talked. all i can say is army forest whteva's damn saddistic. and adrian's a 'cmi' soldier.
dread to go to sch and study. stayin 4hrs in same lect hall.
dont know why i'm not in much mood today. guess the only time i smiled and laughed is when i saw him and with my brudders. pms-sing? pouts no idea. there's lots in mind too. dont ask me wht, cos me myself cant figure it out.
-tear rolls

change my blog song. -gift of heart

happy barffdae sexeh jun! (:
she'd prolly have a smashin bdae with the machikenehs aft the swim meet. how nice yea.

was alr enterin my lala land ytsd and phone rang, it was ben kor. that guy went beyond cloud nine then. manns. it's jus so nicee to hear that huhs. ben and mich. while i was in my lala land.. dreaming bout him. and tt call from ben interrupt! urrggs. gees read sth and found *him so... funny and cute? awww. aiights cute isnt the word to describe, but i want it to. *grins*
if someone were to tell *him or if it was me.. i'd soon avoid him or whts. sighs i dont know.
gnna walk my dog. and prac agn. i'm scared. mrs koh msged me.. telling me not to panic. -cld u feel my heart beatin fast- aiights outta here.

leg kick, body pull. twist ur body.lai ah, ki ah
sea traing's way better than the land traing? but my bod's aching. well least there isnt running. but did some silly jumpin-jacks for warm up. and pple turned their head arnd and look. look like some kukus doing it hurrs. anyhos, u get wet from top to bottom. face get splashed. ewwwks. u get a tan too babeh. my face's red. arms and legs are more tanned. *grins* anyhos, i've stil got more to work on the technique of my strokes. -straighten rowing arm-. i seem to be more comfee with the left side. ben [coach] corrected me at some point. you work as a team when u row. work on own technique but stil one's gotta follow the timing of the others. if you dont train urself u'd fall back. yeaas. jus some notes to bear in mind. grins saw him while rowing. -hands went weak.
swimming's more of individual sport. whereby u concentrate on ur own swim strokes and speed. db's more of teamwork. both relates to my everyday life as well.
aft traing went to the stadium to bathe. went back to kssc or wherever we started, to wait for the brudders with nini sista. time was passing kinda slow. 12.50pm then. chatted bout everything. the *him and *n. muahahs. some probs, our brudders, and also the guys arnd!? -grins. cant help it la huhs. when we turned left or right u cld see hot nice bods. woohoos. saw ivan there too.. blehhs it's all girls talk la huhs.
aft the brudders are done with their traing n bathed. wenta beach rd for lunch. woots. jus the right view to see. -blehs- wenta town aft to get jessie's pressie. got a canisole from blush! and top from fcuk. it's nice! there were so many nice clothes. realised that nini sista and i has got similar taste on clothes and slips? went to topshop to find a nice g-string for jess. but e nice ones were all in size12. ended up nini sis and i took some shorts and tired it on. it's nice! but nini isnt getting it. pouts. prolly get it aft i get my weekly allowance. and the pink boxer shorts. blehs. ended up gettin scolding from ben kor. darnn. the fcuk top i want is stil there. great. subsequently, everything tat i said is nice.. i'd get stares from ben kor. wht's wrong with the pple these days? ytsd got shot by campfriends like hell. til i've got nth to say. but yea there were chance for me to shot back. =) and today daryl and ben kor kept shoting me and damn gl. but so was i. chop chop got the stuff and came back home to prac piano.. exam's tmr. while mike and nini went for a movie. seeing them together so swt and stuff makes me feel so good. like they've got one another. awww i'm happy for em. (:
prolly not goin sch tmr cos i've got piano exam. there's so many elp. yeaa. if i go.. i've gotta cab down to kovan. which is like far.. the whole dae wld be in a mess. but aft exam wld head to sch for ivp. whooos. gnna cheer for ash from nyp pple!
nini sista: dearrie sis. dont feel that way towards mike. ure sucha nice and swt and good...[list goes on] girl too! he's worth ur love and so does u worth his. to see u both together makes me smile. cos that smile on ur face makes me feel that way. ilu sista. mmmuacks.
ben and nini asked me to drop hints hints or tel him?.. think it's better to stay this way. cos i'm afraid it's gnna be an embarrassment or might not even work out. i'm scared. so shall be shheshh bout it. and i can jus fantasize. prays hard ben kor keeps his mouth zipped too.

-11sept
my mp3's turning kuku!!!!! that's the worst thing to happen. load the songs and it appeared that there's no files. plug the usb and check.. there is!! wth.
anyhos, tanning was ching was shiok! dipped and did sth else.. shhesh. and i went touring at underwater world and dolphin lagoon for free. hurr hurrs. aft years that i've been there. do ya noe that male seahorses actually get pregnant? how amazing. the dugongs, dolphins...awww!
aft that ching had to go for family dinner and i've got to meet camp focus mates. caught raising helen. it's like so hilarious, sad and sweet. i'm gnna catch it agn.. prolly i'd dl it. it's far too nice la. and pastors cld go on dates, have kids and sth else. hehs.. those who catch wil noe. mygawd it's sooo nice. tears wld jus flow n all. u laugh and rock. darn nice. when i was watchin it. i was thinking bout *him. cried when 'thinking over' was playin in the bg.
there's db sea traing ltr. anyhos, i'm feeling pain from my ribcage? when i press it lightly it hurts. isit normal after doing so many sit-ups or wht? damns. i've seriously lost appetite in lotsa stuff.
hvnt have nuff pract' of piano. exam's on monday.
pouts. gnna bath and slp.. gotta wake up at 7++am on a sunday..-drags feet
-nxt sat: nyp ivp. jess's bdae party. stayover at cp's place?

did this up (:

current desktop display in lappie

circuit analysis paper was kinda bad. esp the section B. after this common test, i can judge from where i stand in it. pouts. wil have to buck up in it. aft the paper met su. and she gave me the snyder's caramel biscuit i like. she's sucha swtie. -grins- aft went to have lunch with ben and del at fj. so happen that fel the neh..came to nyp to eat from aj!.. hahas. when they went to get their seats ben kor was startin his thing agn. how mean hurrs. then nic came by fj to say hi to fel and off she went for her lesson at 2.
weather was quite good. sunny n all. so decided to swim.. and my brudder wld dip. went home get my traing gear. when i reached sch, it was drizzling. wth. but yea i stil trained myself. i felt the faintin symptoms once agn. prolly i dint really fill my stomach during lunch. cos i only finished up the fishballs. =\ yeaah. only swam 6x100 slow swim. tt's crap. missing swimming traing. felt weird as i was the only girl in the pool. arnd 6 guys? and i saw this guy with NIKE trunks. cool. aft the swim i really needed some slp. slacked arnd in n out of the gym room. talked to kor. hvnt really sat down and spoke to him this week. and *n walked outta the sports hall. -grinnin from ear ta ear- as i watched andy and swim mates passing by. there's an urge in me that i wanna train. ooo. cant. *he came. hahas. but yeshh he's got nice woohooo sexeh legs that all the girls wld want. we were talkin bout it. but yea.. it's his personality too? shant go much into it. hehs.
db traing runs like hell. but i suppose it's considered quite slack for them? no ideas. but after 4 rounds i cldnt take it. started to have blur vision. if i'd to cont i'd jus collaspe. and they do sit-ups like nobody biz?! nth new to em. but yes.. to me it is. we did more than 150 sit-ups?! i cldnt do that much la huhs.. from 7 onwards i wld be tired out. some pool rowing.. i gotta admit my co-ordination's way off. be it playin the piano, swim, row. i can only concentrate on ONE motion at a time. hehs. met more pple (: princess and prince? and i took note of sth. db girls wld give sooo much encouragement to each other. i was tryin so hard to do the sit ups. and yesh.. there's girls pushing..c'mon girls u can do it.. c'mon viv.. c'mon mel blahs. it's sth i dont see in swimming. encouragement. sth that i shld pass on? yeahhs. aft rowin it was fun la.. jo wanted us to run on the field..10 sit ups and push up. another partner run. some 'accident' happened. my my. had dinner.. the ko lo yoke [pork thingy] cant make it. it was pratically all flour! damnit. i ate like alot?! even ate 3/4 of princess's rice. darrn. aft joinin db u'd sure to be fit and toned. and soon i wont be able to fit into size 'S' shirt hurrs?! mmms, *his smile is jus like woahhs. he doesnt usually smile?... stern. *n's prolly jus an infatuation. but i'd stil be grinnin when i see him. hurrs hurrs.. let me dream on..
jo's nice enuff to help us find the red top for db traing cos they set some rule la hurrs. sunday traing.. stil dont noe how to row with tt pedal for nuts. fool. try try. nv say die yups. i'm tired and all.. abrasion at my butt bone area. hurts like hell. when i was bathing.. i was somehow dancing inside cos it hurts. it hurts. tanning tmr so i cld dip! dip it low.. lalalas. the wound wld heal faster.
-looking fwd to traings... for once. i'm cranky and whteva u wanna call me today. no ideas. the way i talk to del.. and to kor?.. not enuff slp yea. aiight outta here. it's like i'm writing some stupid compo. it's all c r a p
out.

stuuuuckkkkkk
urrgg. how the hell do u do current divider? it dint get into my brainee. shucks. book has no similar example. = and now this delta-wye conversion has got thousand and one formulas when converting? like wht the.. eyes hurting agn. i better dream bout all these formulas tonight and nth else. mmms, but i'm wishing bout a nice dream too. crap. anyhos, roy friend's hostin a party at chinablack ltr in the night. wanna go. but shal see if i'm tired yays, i'd stil be meetin the whole grp of em on sat stil. yup, shall stop dreaming and get back to the conversions and circuit. crack that brain.
brainiee juice anyone?

aft the paper today, went to have lunch with cp and glo at j8. long time we had kfc. yummilicious. got a top for myself. hehs.. glo bought one too. *grins*piano lesson was good today. i'd say as the exam day is nearing i play better. wht crap. anws, yaps. i'm superbly nervous bout it.
yet to touch on circuit analysis. tmr's the paper. darn. guess i'm gnna burn midnite oil once agn. this is really the last min. was focusing on digital f'. since the time i home, was catching singapore idol. (: tay ping hui was there. [OMG!]
brudder got a shirt for me!.. mmms, guess a few of em of he's the time keeper for swimming ivp! why not the swimming juniors or wht? no ideass. but yess...my brudder has got the shirt for me. simply loove him so la! brudder ben saw *him today. sighhhs
aiights time to get back to my books. it's boring me.. i need ta slppp... nahh it's my last paper shal give it my best shot!
-sat tannin' with ching, zibulu day out
-sun 7.30 PSC

alrighty! finally i met up wit darling gloria. (: had lunch and studied while i was with her. and we saw *n!... he's jus nice lah. long sexeh legs. manns. opps. he was wearin shorts. so yay. another thing that brightens up my day. went to the lib to cont' studying, with sharul, hongwei and latheef. got some doubts cleared. off i went for traing...
how dumb can one ever be. there wasnt traing today. -_- and i wasnt informed. cool huhs. i wanted to swim anyhos. hvnt been traing for a week. feeling fat so yups. weird guy swimming in the pool. he wld suddenly disappear?! a guy with pink-orangey trunks. omg.. *faints. that guy caught su, cp and my attn la huhs. like woohoos! hehs, anyhos daryl came down..waitin for that commando friend to finish his swim. that guy cld be how irritating at times. he is most of the time anws. brudder ben and del came... i lovee disturbin ben. moreover he cant do anything to me then cos there's this stupid fence thingy parting us. tt's like how greatt. hahs. these two guys happily disturb su n cp... shouting their names. while brudder and i were talking bout *n. speak of the 'devil'.. he was coming in the direction. went to tell the girls to look and wore my specs-to have a clearer view- woots. hahas. -knees goes weak mans. went ta bathe aft. with jilin after her run. chatted in the bathroom. hurrs how cool. manage to find out some stuff. she's funny? asked me if i have bf. [no] she shot back [why?!]
bid the brudders goodbye and off we went to fill our stomach. went to lib to study after. surprisingly i'm able to absorb. cp was quite irritating most of the time. tt girl. took pics n pics. guess we were the noisiest grp? which is grp of 3. my eye hurts after studying, studying and studying. went j8 to take neos. hahas some new kuku machine which u can take ur own swt time. C:
isit some revenge thingy or wht?! i'm having like a thousand and one mosquitoe bites all over my limbs. nw i'm in jeans, its attacking my feet. damnit! i shldnt have disturb dan then. urrggg. shoooo!!!
ohhh and i dreamt of *him. no ideas why. but yea *he's jus in it..dream was disturbed by glo's call. muahahs. dreaming away only yays. gotta get back to the books agn. cld anyone tell me wht's encoder and decoder? sth which i'm totally clueless bout.

stil studying right now. -yawns.
on msn chattin are ben kor and yixian.
hahas.. while studyin managed to figure out some photoshop functions with yixian. and forced him to change his blog song. cos it's been the same old song for a thousand yrs. *roll eyes*
and also seems ben kor and *her are progressing a lil (: glad to hear that.
it's gnna be 5am, and i'm here stil studying. wth. shal bed soon.
i shldnt have these thoughts in mind. i'm feeling so insecure. once agn. but this time round it's purer insecurity but i'm suffocating in it. guess i cant absorb it right now cos i'm selfish. i need more of space in it..it's getting smaller as days goes by. full of insecurity and suffocation. period.

surprisingly, i woke early this morning prolly cos i had an early night the day before. yupp, would be in school tmr. to accompany gloria for her 3hrs break and after meet the other two babehs to study. ((: training after. i'm getting very lazy to exercise now, meaning to train or whichever that's in my category of exercise. i should anws. brudder ben isnt replyin me, that nehs. prolly too busy doing his thing yeas. muahahs. anyhos, cant wait for tmr ta come. shall hit the books.
miss ebabehs, mybrudders. n *him?
-confused. later
to ebabeh of mine: hey darl'. hush hush dont cry aiights. -clean the tears of face- ilu* no one cld totally understand u. only u yourself. think thru the problems. if it aint coming to it. leave it. it'd later.. then think of how to solve it. i'd be right here with u anyhos. yays. cheer up a lil. dont be sooo down. every brand new day would be much better than what u think it is. cos i'm here babeh. smmuacks =* i love you to bits. -titeeehuggs.
listening to: swtest gdbye -maroon 5

reached sch before 8am to pass su my cam. stupidsillyshittie me in the world forgotten my admin card. so cldnt meet her[sorrie gurl]. cabbed home and back to sch. that cost me like.. quite alot. a meal. urggs. that's wht i gotta pay for being careless. aint the first time. darn. went into the lect hall. got the sit jus nice for kor and i. he was late n stuff la huhs. so the sit was taken up by this weirdo who kept smiling n laughin to himself during the paper. wth. no longer have the habit to wear a watch. and yups, when the lecter said 10mins more i was stil at ques5. flipped thru the papers and finish up those that i know. well, a lil at least. last ques was total blank, some increasing and decreasing interval which he taught the week before last. ohhh scr*wit. went for my breggiefast at macs. brendon ate one end of my hashbrownnie, dint finish it either. and yups, del, darren and adrian came. -blush- and ben jus goes on n on. i wish there's some brainwashin potion to let him drink. and yay for me too. glo came a lil while n off she went for her lesson. went north canteen to meet brudder mike. and jane was there. she looks sexehh wit skirt. ohh did i mention i saw this pretty handsome bung at macs. muahahs. yeayea..the guys crapped a lil n my dear ben kor stil goes on teasing me. way he goes dreaming abt *her. hahs. how mushy n sweet he can get. my gawddd. he's my brudder. guys went to smoke aft and my brudders and i went into the bike carpark. and ben began with his intro-in bikes to me. yeaa and i like shadow. nice, was a red one. sexeeh colour. (: yeaa guys went to play pool and cs at selegie. they're too bored. anyhos, on my way home was thinking quite alot. ben kor, mike, daryl, del. pratically all the brudders. some of them are like sweet and in love and also mist of love. awww. dang i'm jealous. i need some love. n and r came cross my mind. and also *him. something in common about them. they've got cool and cold character? quiet. i'd jus psycho myself that love stinks.
gnna put it all aside. it aint working out anyhos. shall slp the thoughts away..
spoke to glo on the phone. that poor girl...
swts, no matter how sucky ur 'friends' are. try to adapt. i know ure tryin all ur might. if that cant b bothered attitude helps and u feel happier that way. then go ahead yays. i'm alwys here! =] give me a call on weds, i'd go down ta sch. yeaa. lovee v.

why isit that everytime i'd freak out when the day's nearing. shucks. i cant slp. and i need to slp. danng. urggggggggg. well i shal try ta slp. -pulls hair. later

da gurls

da guys.

slept on the couch agn. feel aslp while watching teevee. woke up in the afternoon. started doing my math since then. till now i'm still doing. the people are having dinner at del's place prolly finishing up the ballies that were left ytsd. chose to give it a miss cos i'm stil prepared for my math paper tmr. ended up eatin plain porridge for dinner. wth. crossing my fingers. i'm only like half prepared. from 3pm til now i'm listening to my blogsong, someplace far away. it's soothing brings my mood to normal. (:
ben kor and adrian went ta church today. hahs. if he's gnna be drunk whenever i see him. else i'd so embarrassed. darn.
back to sch tmr. paper starts early in the morning. urgg. i'd only be half awake. and there's traing tmr! so i'd come home n back to sch for traing. lalala. skipped traing on friday so i'd sure go tmr no matter wht. aiights back to the books.
later.

everyone's probably in bed except for my bro and i. planning to go down for breakfast early in the morning.
sometimes i just feel i'm sucha useless shits. grandma flew off the day before to china yet i only got to know it ytsd. i knew she was flying off 2 weeks ago. but no ideas which day. i cld have send her off. only one of my cousin sent her off. where's the family spirit we used to have? failure i am. dint even give grandma a call. wonder how she felt then.
sorry, but i'm crying right now. where's the shoulders that would lend me to lean on. no one. why am i feeling so emotional right now? currently in a mono mood.
cries-

high.high.high
ate tonnes. feeling fat now. jane was like mommie constantly feeding me with food. played some game after. once the game start, that kuku daryl starts to blurt rubbish. everyone drank. dint get that drunk. least the girls were the most sober. for the guys it was kor. kor's considering good. helpin drink some. (: he's how gd. music was loud. everyone was high. everyone was dancing. at that point i was so high. gees. leaving daryl dancing and crapping by himself. and first to drop. slowly one by one the guys drop 'cept for ben kor. they're the ones that kept us busyin, clearing up their vomit and all. totally grossed out. esp. daryl. corn was gone.. went off after smoking lots. red like a cooked lobster. mich, jess, ni, ben kor and i were left clearing up the guys pukes. spitting all over, vomiting arnd. cushion was wet. mopped the damn place. gross. and daryl's damn sadded. least everyone had fun. even after drinking my mind stil goes back to problems and the test nxt week. ben kor had know someone *winks winks* hahs. my dear brud seriosuly is sooo... i've got nothing to say. he's sober n sooo nice to sent me to take a cab. hahs. a lil sadded but stil managed to carry that kuku daryl to crap. to think they've got traing tmr. i'm stil sooo sober. i need to catch some sleep. dont even want monday to come. shucks... kinda envy ben kor. now there's someone he can go for. (: happy for him. i'm all alone stil. not considering *him. he's far too drank n sputtering rubbish. mucus were all over their faces. whtever it is, it was fun. even cleaning the people. n del's dog's so adorable. licking my ears and all. ohhh. i feel good tootootootoo! sorrie that i'm gettin crappie.
last thing i wanna say is, thanx ben kor. ure always there to look out for me. i'm fine yays. and the real big kor. asking them to shut up. tt was fierce. i loveee u lots, wht isit gnna be like withou u n the other bruds. wish u well with her* eskirtieskirtie u not wht i mean. it's btwn u and me. ;]
[drinking is very bad! her body in the club gets tipsy.. her body in the club gets tipsy] shit i cant stop it. came home n dance.. wth. listen to piano piece. i need some peace in mind.

aiights got to know that it'd be EAGLES last world tour. it's a must go! but it's 99bucks. dad was stil considering treating my coussie and his wife. check with sistic. $99 are left with the backview only -_-damnns. i wanna see their facess. that cool faces when they sing. alrights, i'm crazy for now. i'm falling sick agn.
woke up at 11 and went to buy milk for brother. to fatten him up. and got myself the milk with apple flavour. yumms. (: had lunch with dad and bro. piano lesson.. now back home mugging. mms, least i'm suppose to be muggin. soon. goin down to del's place arnd evening time. there's steamboat or whts. least there's food. dad reminded me not to drink.. lovee my dad. let's get it started! ja..

created a new album. check it out here http://community.webshots.com/user/vivian_teo. for more updates later.. check it out under "-others: album2" yupps. off i go ta study. ciaos

woots. back from studyin. supposedly to meet at 1pm. woke up only at 12++pm when ben kor called me. was called a pig. dint go sch n traing in the end. meet kor at khatib. and went to daryl kor's place. tt brudder of mine's so damn sadded. sick like a dog. chiled a lil while, listen to some music n took some pics. he gave me this mango milk. it's yummilicious. might ask mom to get it. anyhos, off we went to accompany daryl kor to pay his bills n stuff. had lunch, fried wanton's yummilicious. met brudder mike aft. while mike take his lunch went to the bank wit daryl kor. this man that attend to us is so... ewwww. cant stand it. aft everything, went to some void-deck to study. just being right there with kor kor looking at him seriously studying gives me that sorta stress to study too. and that sick dog was crapping away, disturbing pple. (: gees, felt like a princess today. brudders are so nice to me. mmms, first time that brudder mike disturbed me. ben kor sent me to the bus stop.. ooooh love em trillion zillion. u name it. how sweet romantic poems cld guys write sometimes, which gave me goosebumps. but it'd sure make the girl's heart melt. sweet.
wld be goin for piano tmr, study aft. go for del's party at 7.30pm. dad said no stayover. so yup, i wont. sch's reopening. attachment wld all stop. cld catch up with the girls more often.
gonna bath and back to study agn. toodles
-dan: ur wish is granted..this mosquitoe was jus right at my knee. i'm much more skilled than u r. i smacked n smashed it! wooohooos. see see!

i'm studyin...(: math. evidence yups.

my 3 dearest brudders. -ben, daryl, mike-

dearest kor kor, aint happy with me yea?..

sup! *grins*

dear daryl kor slpin'

changed layout. changed template of haloscan-comment thingy too. (: loving my blog. like every single layout. aiights i'm kinda sickindamind whteva. i love the layout, the song. practically everything. it's time to catch my beauty sleep. darns. leaves me dreaming who shall i see in school later. quite a number that i wish. i wish.
later.

changed the blog song. turn on ur speakers pple! played by rueben-chemistry.

was bloghoppin n found his blog. the pieces he played. am bewildered. now, i know 2 guys who are more or sporty kinda.. and plays a piano and they're self taught. one's rueben and djeric. i've missed the chance of rueben performing. i think i did.. cant really recall what he played in the open hse. the webbie for his music is way cool. drownin myself in them. peaceful. one day, hope i'd get to see n listen to rueben's performance hopefully dan's too. (: [he killed the poor mosquitoe, he's a murderer]
christopher michael lee sang your song in singapore idol. blehhs, it's how one bring the song out. if someone would see it to me.. i'd melt. drama. but whteva.. it's nice.. what bout play the piano and sing it?! awwww.
anyhos, meetin brudder for lunch and to study tmr. hahs, wht he told me when he came online was so swt...*know her better!* and they saw *him in sch today.

went back to sch for extra lect. lasted for 3hrs, i was practically yawning right in front of my lect. was sitting in the front row. catch no ball at some point. went glo's place after. apparently to study. ended up playing piano, online and watchin tv. ideal place to study is still the library.
dint manage to meet my brudders. =[ sighsss. just hope dad would least allow me to go to del's party. cant stayover it's still alrights. pray hard he wldnt mind me coming home like real late.. he's starting to get on my nerves. anyhos, keeping my fingers crossed.
now i recall when i exactly took note of rueben. it was the open hse of nyp when he played the piano. everyone shouted rueben! rueben! uh-huhs. *winkies* stil await for sch to reopen and see *him in sch. grins. off i go ta study.
it's isnt one or two that mention to me, but more than that. maybe i chose to ignore it. for one thing, i'm happier now. maybe i was more introvert than i am now. i've probably numbed myself, perhaps. dont know. cant get off my mind right now. hope it'd. probably numbed myself, perhaps. dont know. cant get off my mind right now. hope it'd.
-blocked mind

wth!!! the post i wrote was published as empty. patient.

http://groups.msn.com/ZibuluWarriors campfocus -zibulu- pics

met glo in sch to study. miss that girl so. (: aft went to meet my brudders as they were havin their break. and brendon said i look diff wearin specs, he actually asked if i'm the girl he saw on sunday *faints*. rushed off to pick su up from the station. brendon thinks i'm a les. hahs. went back to the lib and finish up my work and went off to swim with su while glo went off to thomson plaza for dinner n that girl made a red plastic specs. sexehhh! (: had lotsa fun in the pool. jus that at first she was shy as there were some perverted idiots in the pool. matthew [life-saving] was training then. cool. my dear gf swims like a mermaid.. but a weak mermaid. personal joke. yups. on our way to macs, db girls were liftin weights. saw jeanie, jane and jo. went to the track to bid goodbye to my brudders. when i was making my way there rueben shouted GO! and everyone started runnning. shouted at ben kor as i managed to spot him only. kiss n hugg to bid gdbye the other brudders had went off alry. *roll eyes* and my dear brudder ben was sweaty and salty. lips tasted salty aft. gawdd. anyhos, had dinner at macs n went off to j8 took neos and got my pencil case. dint wanna spoil the pencil case tt gf gave me ((: the pics n while takin it were how crap. gawdd.
back to sch tmr for extra lect session. and i'd prolly stay in sch to study after. wonder what time my brudders end their camp. everytime i listen to sway it reminds me of ben kor. he's got a sexehh voice to actually sing it. but i miss *him even more... blehs
my msn pic's the pic which ching and i were tanning. he said ching's pretty or looks old. yea of course i know my friends are pretty. dont think that i cant read his bloody damn mind. cant stand it. looking thru my friendster friends and look at my friends. nothing's wrong but...what?! asking me to intro them to you?! oh hell no. unless u can even be more handsome than my brudders. but you can never be. never. stil cant take it in that he's got 5 ex-s and currently one gf. my gawdd. for one thing i know my girlfriends are pretty. he can never be as handsome as my brudders. or even nearing handsome i guess. totally grossed out.